Coaches: Communicating with young athletes

By: Kendy Vierling, Ph.D.

Children look to coaches for guidance, support, instruction, and indications on how to respond to difficult situations.  How coaches communicate with their young athletes can be instrumental in promoting an experience that assists children in developing a positive self-concept, sport experience, sportsmanship, communication skills, and important lessons for life.  Children are very perceptive: they not only listen to what their coaches say, but they also carefully watch how their coaches behave.  Young athletes are very observant and watch closely how coaches talk and behave towards not only their own athletes, but also how they interact with other coaches, athletes of opposing teams, officials, and parents.  Children will then often copy those behaviors, which may or may not be appropriate behavior.  Therefore, coaches need to be aware that their verbal and non-verbal communication may significantly impact the development of their young athletes in many ways.  Using positive, developmentally appropriate communication skills, coaches can cultivate a team environment that not only encourages technical skill learning, but also personal development and a positive experience for all involved.

Below are some tips that may assist coaches when communicating with their young athletes to promote a positive youth sport experience and encourage appropriate behaviors amongst children:

• A coach’s body language and behavior can communicate a great deal to their team.  Coaches can show a positive attitude towards their athletes non-verbally with a simple smile or giving a “thumbs up” signal.  However, it is important that a coach distributes this encouragement amongst all of his/her athletes so that there is not apparent favoritism, which may discourage children.
  
  
• Demonstrate through your actions the importance of treating other athletes, parents, coaches, and officials with respect at all times.  Show your team that you care by showing enthusiasm, staying positive, giving specific technical feedback, and demonstrating concern.  Teach your team through your actions what behaviors are appropriate.
   
• Think about the possible consequences of your words on the athlete before you say them.  Children look up to coaches and generally want to please them, so a negative comment from a coach may carry extra significance and affect a child’s self-concept.  Keep your comments specific, focusing on the behavior that you would like to change.  Keep in mind that you are the adult and that this is an opportunity to instruct the child.  Do not engage in personal attacks or name-calling, even if the child engages in this behavior.  When concluding the conversation, check for understanding by asking the child to explain what behavior needs to be changed and the reason(s) why.  Keep the concluding comments positive and encouraging so that the child knows that he/she is still an important part of the team.
  
  
• Promote positive communication verbally by giving positive comments to players, officials, parents, and opposing coaches/teams.
  
  
  • When communicating with young athletes, be sure that comments are specific and praise the child’s effort.  For example, instead of saying “Nice job out there,” you may say “You really hustled after that ball and maintained your field position” or “Great job- I liked the way that you encouraged your teammates out there and backed them up on that throw!” Show your athletes that you care by staying positive, showing enthusiasm, and demonstrating concern.  
    
• Ask open-ended questions that allow athletes to explain their experiences to you.  While it may be tempting to only “talk at the children” and insist that they passively absorb your instruction, this may not be the most effective way of communicating with the children because the message may not be fully understood by the young athletes.  Encouraging children to periodically explain what they have learned not only allows the coach to confirm that the children understand the intended message, but also makes them active participants in the learning process. Additionally, this form of communication encourages attention and shows that the coach is interested in the athletes’ experiences.
  
  
• Determine the appropriate time to individually speak to a player.  A coach should use discretion when disciplining children or giving instructive feedback so that he/she can quickly deliver the appropriate message to correct the behavior and maintain the child’s attention, while also preventing the child from being embarrassed in front of his/her peers.
  
  
  • For example, if a child acts inappropriately towards an official during the game, instead of shouting personal comments at the player from across the field or completely ignoring the behavior, a coach can substitute the player out of the game so that he/she can then take the player aside and explain to him/her that the behavior was inappropriate. 
    
    
  • Therefore, the player knows exactly what behavior needs to be changed and that the inappropriate conduct will not be tolerated.
    
    
• Recognize that each child is a unique individual, with different talents and abilities.  A child is still developing.  Do not expect children to understand the game like an adult or play like a professional athlete.  Remember that you may need to use more basic language, simplify your instruction, and/or slow down your regular speaking rhythm for younger children to better understand your message.
  
  
• Emphasize that enjoying the experience of participating in sport is far more important than the outcome of the game or winning/losing.   Adults tend to emphasize the end products, rather than the process.  So, when adults attend a game, they tend to emphasize points, hits, goals, or winning.  Try to focus your communication with the children on the process of competition, developing skills, and making new friends, not only on the outcome of the game or the opponents.  Focusing on the lessons learned during the game in a positive, supportive way demonstrates to the children that these experiences are more important than the just the outcome of the game.

For more information about communicating with young athletes, contact the AIA Academy at (602) 861-6198 or contact@aiaacademy.org to schedule a coach education clinic for your youth organization.