Kids, they just want to have fun!!

By: Darren Treasure, Ph.D.

Fun and to be with their friends are the main reason kids give for wanting to play youth sport. I guess many adults don't think children's opinions count for much as often time fun seems to be the furthest thing from the minds of many parents and coaches one can see prowling the sidelines of any youth sport competition.

Picture any youth soccer playing field for example - Ten year olds play in a “proper” league organized and coached by their fathers, men in warm-ups suits with hand-embroidered “Team Coach” legends who, dementedly pace the sideline. A slim boy in a black and white shirt rounds his defender and shapes to shoot at goal. “Shoot, Steve, shoot,” yells one of the warm-up suits. Then as the boy blazes wide: “That's absolutely useless!” This supposed aside probably reaches half the players. “Greedy little *@*#! Should've passed it,” bawls another warm-up suited “coach.”

Is this fun for kids?

Unfortunately, inappropriate parent and/or coach behavior is endemic in youth sport. It is not uncommon to see a parent stride on to a field to dispute an officials' decision. This is, unfortunately, mild in many cases. Verbal and physical attacks on officials and other opposing parents appear to becoming far more frequent.

It's a travesty that youth sport leagues now have to implement parental codes of conduct. For example, some leagues have no shouting rules and enforce what they refer to as “Special Rules” - Rules that are set in place to “enable young children to play with increasing confidence, free of the “sideline tantrums” so often displayed by spectators. Sideline coaching is banned, and critical comments will be “rewarded” by expulsion from the playing area.”

Unfortunately, these “Special Rules” do not protect the child from the worst 20 minutes in youth sport, namely the ride home.

Although these codes of conduct may be necessary, surely the bigger issue is how do we educate parents and coaches into understanding what kids think is fun, and for parents to realize that it is the child's sport experience not their own - It often seems that the parent wants it more than the child. Youth sport is not a vehicle through which fathers, and increasingly mothers, try to reprise and re-invent their own, often-inadequate, sporting pasts . But how many children and teenagers participate in youth sport because their parents want them to? No matter how able a child is they need to want to do it for themselves, not because their parents want it.

The belief among many sports mad parents is that young Jenny or Jason only has to try a little bit harder to make it to the top. This just isn't the case!! There is much more to it than that. It is extremely important, therefore, that parents and youth coaches allow the kids enjoy their experience; and most importantly, allow them to be kids and just have fun!